[转帖]爆笑，最幽默的短信
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">爆笑，最幽默的短信</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">1</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。士兵问连长：作战时踩到地雷咋办？连长大为恼火：靠</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">能咋办？踩坏了照价赔偿。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">2</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。很久没收到你的信息</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">俺很心疼。俺想到死</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">曾用薯片割过脉；用豆腐撞过头；</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">用降落伞跳过楼；用面条上过吊。可都墨死成</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">你就请俺吃顿饭</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">撑死俺算了。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">3</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。四岁的男孩亲了三岁的女孩一口，女孩对男孩说：你亲了我可要对我负责啊。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">男孩成熟地拍了拍女孩的肩膀，笑着说：你放心，我们又不是一两岁的小孩子！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">4</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。超市里你好奇的把手伸到条码扫描器下，屏幕显示：猪蹄，</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">8</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元。你以为机器坏了，把脸凑过去，屏幕显示：猪头肉，</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">5</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。猜谜：全世界的猪都死了……打一首歌名！林忆莲《至少还有你》</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">6</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。狼来了，猪窝里乱成一团，猪妈妈安排“大猪快去堵门！二猪去堵窗！”当看到小猪时，猪妈来火了，大叫“老三，不要看短信啦！你肉多，出去把狼引开”</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">7</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。“你以后不要再喝醉了”。“我怎么了？”“还说呢！昨天又有人看到你端着个酒杯追着一头猪，嘴里还大叫‘是不是兄弟？是兄弟的干了’！”</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">8</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。当官者日志：清晨起床，打拳；上午开会，打盹；中午吃饭，打嗝；下午上班，打哈；傍晚加班，打牌；晚上娱乐，</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">da pao</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">；半夜回家，打架。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">9</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。懒猫疯狂地追求一老鼠终于结婚，婚后猫对老鼠百般苛护，老鼠很快变胖，老鼠很感动：亲爱的为什么对我这么好呀！猫嘿嘿笑道：等你再胖一点就知道了。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">10</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。又在工作吧？我不止一次的对你说不要这么玩命工作，要注意身体。可你总是意味深长的说：“不趁天暖多滚几个粪球，冬天我吃什么！！”</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">11</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。有些事情该让你知道了！天，是用来刮风下雨地；地，是用来长花长草地；我是用来证明人类伟大地；而你：“就是用来炖粉条地。！”</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">12</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。站在高楼下，内心一阵悲凉，脸上也湿润了，有点咸咸的味道，是雨水还是泪水？抬头望天空……谁在楼上撒尿！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">13</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。如果感到心里挖凉挖凉的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">请拨打俺的电话！谈感情请按</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">1,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">谈工作请按</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">2,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">谈人生请按</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">3,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">给俺介绍对象请按</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">5,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">请俺吃饭请直说</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">找俺借钱请挂机。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">14</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。听说过吗？前世的五百次回眸</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">才换得今生的一次擦肩</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">象你我这样亲密的朋友</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">上辈子似乎没干什么</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">光他妈回头了！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">15</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。有两个造假钞的不小心造出面值</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">15</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元的假钞</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">两人决定拿到偏远山区花掉</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">当他们拿一张</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">15</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元买了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">1</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">元的糖葫芦好</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">他们哭了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">农民找了他们两张</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">7</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">块的。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">16</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。鱼说：“我时时刻刻把眼睁开是为了在你身边不舍离开。”水说：“我终日流淌不知疲倦是为了围绕你好好把你抱起。”锅说：“都他妈快熟了还这么倔。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">”</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">17</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。你的人生写照：十岁学会自己洗澡――猪自清；二十岁光彩照人――猪时茂</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">；三十岁找到工作――猪立业；四十岁雇了佣人――猪得佣；五十岁学会打篮球</span><font face="Times New Roman">
</font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">――猪投！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">18</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。深夜布什看到</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">la deng</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">站立在自己床前，批头散发，布什大惊说：你好大胆，敢夜闯白宫！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">la deng</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">甩了甩齐胸的胡子，阴森地笑了，说：飘柔，就是这样自信！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">19</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。接电话—声音渐渐小对方是领导；声音渐渐大对方是部下；一听就发躁对方拨错号；笑得不停歇那是女同学；半天哼一下老婆在训话；悄声避开人对方是情人！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">20</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。错了马上就认错的是科员，错了还保持沉默的是科长，错了也能找到理由的是处长，错了也不承认错的是局长，错了众人不但一再说没错，并还都说对的那就是你了！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">21</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。泡妞四条狗理论：先是猎狗，善于发现目标。二是疯狗，穷追不舍。三是赖皮狗，死缠不放。最后是哈巴狗，随你怎么样！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">22</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。两只母鸡在聊天，对面走来一只无精打采的公鸡。母鸡说：咋地啦？公鸡：做个买卖给累的。母鸡问：做啥买卖累成这副德行？公鸡脸红低下头说：卖点鸡精。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">23</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。办公室守则：苦干实干，做给天看；东混西混，一帆风顺。任劳任怨，永难如愿；会捧会献，杰出贡献。尽职尽责，必遭指责；推托栽赃，邀功领赏！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">24</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。长颈鹿嫁给了猴子</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一年后长颈鹿提出离婚：我再也不要过这种上蹿下跳的日子了！猴子大怒：离就离！谁见过亲个嘴还得爬树的！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">25</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。郑喜定的媳妇不见丈夫，便到公公家去找。见公公洗脸，便问道：爹，喜定呢？公公不悦，继续洗脸。媳妇生气，又问：爹，郑喜定呢？公公大怒：洗脸！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">26</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。吃饭了吗？请接收短信。大象把大便排在路中央</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">一只蚂蚁正好路过</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">它抬头望了望那云雾缭绕的顶峰</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">不禁唱到：呀啦索</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">这就是青藏高原！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">~~~~ </font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">27</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。你都长大了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">有些事应该让你知道了：天</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是用来刮风下雨的；地</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是用来长花长草的；我</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">是用来证明人类是多伟大的；你是用来炖粉条的。</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">28</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。在铁路旁大号却没带纸时</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">别着急</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">火车会提醒你：裤擦</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">裤擦</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">裤裤擦！在河边上大号却没带纸时</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">别着急</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">青蛙会告诉你：棍刮</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">棍刮</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">棍棍刮！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">29</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。钱可以买房子但买不到家</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">能买到婚姻但买不到爱</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">可以买到钟表但买不到时间</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">钱不是一切</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">反而是痛苦的根源</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">把你的钱给我</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">让我一个人承担痛苦吧！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">30</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">。你我都是单翼的天使，唯有彼此拥抱才能展翅飞翔。我来到世上就是为了寻找你，千辛万苦找到你后却发现：</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">TMD</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">！咱俩的翅膀是一顺边的！</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">
</font></span></p>
